The Answers for all
Questions:
Bob Blatt, the slowest chess player in the history of Burlingame Chess Club.

Hi, My Name is Bob Blatt. My Ass already HURTS, just thinking about this:
The CHESS CLOCK is going to KICK my Ass, AGAIN while playing Chess at Burlingame Chess Club!
Why should I worry about my opponent's Moves? That Ass Kicking Chess Clock scares the Hell out of me!